Heart in a Cage..
Pay attention to this. I woke up in terrible stage – I was still sleepy and was still suffering from those menstrual cramps (yup, it’s that time of month again. (sarcastic tone) yippee.) and I just had a weird ass dream: something to do with performing in front of people and it was woven into a play that was just plain weird. Think of it as a cross between Desperate Housewives (that pretty much explains that the day I just kept on watching Desperate Housewives so my mind was pretty hands on to that) and something like the Twilight Zone and being lost. My friends were on it – and we were playing characters similar to the Desperate Housewives lately – I was playing someone like Bree, all formal and lady-like. You know those times where you relate your friends and yourself to a famous posse? Yup, and including that, me and my friends chose Desperate Housewives in a computer exercise that we had do to – take pictures of ourselves and stick it into a famous entertainment poster. Guess who I ended up? I guess that’s because if my friends would had to pick to be Bree, they would have to pick me. I don’t know if I really am like that, but in my opinion, my friends do so. In the second season, she starts to hide a secret that grows by the minute and she’s willing to sacrifice whatever she needs to in order to maintain a good, lady-like reputation. She’s an interesting character.
Hmm, what else? Yeah, that dream was weird. But the time where I woke up, I just had a yearning to watch something so I can *imagine* it performing in front of people. I don’t know if I like acting, I heard it’s quite difficult to get a quality job in acting, maybe it’s the fame and fortune that we all supply to ourselves to our favorite Hollywood stars, feeding our jealousy towards them. I think it’s always been on the pop culture, wanting to be like our favorite celebrity. But do I want to spend the rest of my life being followed by the tabloids? Nah, I rather have my husband and kids follow me than sleazy photographers. Come to think of it, I think I want a normal life – with a husband I love, probably two kids – gender not an issue, but I would like a boy and girl. I want to get married for a year or so – experiencing the life of newlyweds. And you know, having that time to just travel around the world and savor every single moment of it.
I should probably stop talking about the future. I’m curious about it – you know those stories where they thought they had everything – a loving family and whatnot but then all of a sudden their supposed life partners goes wrong – either he becomes a raging alcoholic or cheats on you. That’s the two things that I’m most worried about. Because when I was younger, I always had that stable picture in my mind that the Filipinos that lived here had great families. Hmm, I thought wrong. My mom is starting to tell me all these stories about these marriages gone wrong. It’s all that I watched about in movies and all, but what really sort of awakened me is that its really happening in real life – real people that I met and not just some actors.
Right now, I’m trying to juggle doing plenty of things at the same time. I just found out that the GK conference meeting thing is tomorrow at Saturday. I really want to come. It’s a great cause – helping out poverty and plus, you get to meet new people. I hope its better than last year, not saying it was a bummer, it was really fun. I just hope that it’s a way more memorable experience this year! I hope my friend, who just transferred school (and is a an *ally* with me in all those boy dramas at school. She’s just like me – we both don’t have a boyfriend yet but now she moved school, I guess I have to find another ally or just deal with it. It’ll soon be over, I hope.) Hmm, what else? What I really hope that in this year, that I could have enough courage to deal with the boy drama. Let me tell you how it is. It’s like, all the girls sit in one end and just talk about those naughty scenarios and whatnot they happened to did or did not do with the opposite sex. Before it was a huge issue to me cause of all the pressure (not straight-on pressure, but it’s the sort of pressure where they might not realize it – maybe they did but they prefer not to notice it or something.) like feeling left out or just the plain ol’ friend of mine, self-pity. But I sort of regained my confidence throughout the month and I know there are more things more important in life than boys, and when the time comes, I fall in love or whatever, I’ll let my future self deal with it. I’m not going to waste my time crying in self anguish while they run off and talk and talk about it. I mean, I know it’s a normal thing in our age, but I guess it’s just not my time yet. And still, if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t be talking about those private moments, but maybe that’s another thing that’s going on in teen culture. Tell your friends everything! I wouldn’t do it but just the thought of the guy telling what he had done, pretty much explains itself that I won’t be the wet end of the relationship. But I’ll just have to wait.
In the meantime, I’m being a baby over to my parents regarding the GK trip. I just SMSed my dad countless of times, telling him about the conference meeting and that I just had to go. I’m not missing this opportunity.
Oh great, I just remembered, I got my red tide now. And it’s tomorrow, ARGGH. I hope we’re not doing any dance steps cause it’ll just make me feel uncomfortable. I know that there’s a good chance I might run into my ex-crush. Oh gosh, the cringing moments. I was so, infatuated by him, but now its like, ‘seriously? Him?’ my scrapbook of life would always hate a part of my past.
Current mood? Bring it on! I just want to enjoy life, just press the PLAY! Button! Oh, and how is she doing??
Not in the mood for >> hmmph, might as well be exercising later to get rid of period pains.
There’s no point in life spending it just drowning yourself in self-pity over the things that other people don’t have. I hope that I can have enough sense to wallow for less than five minutes and then just move on. Cause that way it won’t take over the whole state of mind.
My style of writing – if I would have to describe it, I would say that’s its not as
story-ish or in other words, wild and imaginative as other people. I’m not the sort of writer who is able to write those odd stories, twisting its scenarios and situations into ones that you can’t imagine. I’m not able to write fantasy nor adventure moments which will leave you wishing for more of life’s adventures. My area of expertise at the current moment, and probably will ever be in the near future, is just life of an adolescence. It’s that time of going through that bridge that builds between your childhood and adulthood. People say that it’s one of the most memorable (probably both good and bad) times in your life. It’s the time where you find what you want to be – in the most simplistic terms. But it’s way more depth in it. You’ll tend to find the experiences where it’ll either shine or burn our hearts in a way that you’ll never imagine. It’s a gravestone in life – it’ll always be there whether we like or not. It’s prepares you in so much ways that you can’t tell directly, but when you find out, you’ll consider it as a much needed lesson learned. It’s going to be far from easy – but then again, life is way more worth it when it has more trials hurdled than one without it. Let time pass. We never can change the way that time ticks but we can change the way we think of it. Change is the thematic word in this journey.
And the way that human nature allows you to change in this odd yet familiar way is what is drawn to me. It’s something where every single adult had felt before. An unspoken bond that was tied to everyone in this Earth. What I want is to write those experiences, letting adolescences know that there are people out there who’ll tend to experience those times. Those dark and lonely times where you feel no one understands you. I myself had those times, telling myself that everyone must be leading better lives than me, getting angrier and angrier by the moment.
Okay, that’s just the beginning. I’m writing all sorts of things with no ends. I just can’t write ends that well, but when I finally find it, it just sparks the plug along with the other words.
If I have time, I’m considering sending this article to a teens site where I know they might take articles like these. If I get my senses in order – I know that I will.
Hmm, what else? Yeah, that dream was weird. But the time where I woke up, I just had a yearning to watch something so I can *imagine* it performing in front of people. I don’t know if I like acting, I heard it’s quite difficult to get a quality job in acting, maybe it’s the fame and fortune that we all supply to ourselves to our favorite Hollywood stars, feeding our jealousy towards them. I think it’s always been on the pop culture, wanting to be like our favorite celebrity. But do I want to spend the rest of my life being followed by the tabloids? Nah, I rather have my husband and kids follow me than sleazy photographers. Come to think of it, I think I want a normal life – with a husband I love, probably two kids – gender not an issue, but I would like a boy and girl. I want to get married for a year or so – experiencing the life of newlyweds. And you know, having that time to just travel around the world and savor every single moment of it.
I should probably stop talking about the future. I’m curious about it – you know those stories where they thought they had everything – a loving family and whatnot but then all of a sudden their supposed life partners goes wrong – either he becomes a raging alcoholic or cheats on you. That’s the two things that I’m most worried about. Because when I was younger, I always had that stable picture in my mind that the Filipinos that lived here had great families. Hmm, I thought wrong. My mom is starting to tell me all these stories about these marriages gone wrong. It’s all that I watched about in movies and all, but what really sort of awakened me is that its really happening in real life – real people that I met and not just some actors.
Right now, I’m trying to juggle doing plenty of things at the same time. I just found out that the GK conference meeting thing is tomorrow at Saturday. I really want to come. It’s a great cause – helping out poverty and plus, you get to meet new people. I hope its better than last year, not saying it was a bummer, it was really fun. I just hope that it’s a way more memorable experience this year! I hope my friend, who just transferred school (and is a an *ally* with me in all those boy dramas at school. She’s just like me – we both don’t have a boyfriend yet but now she moved school, I guess I have to find another ally or just deal with it. It’ll soon be over, I hope.) Hmm, what else? What I really hope that in this year, that I could have enough courage to deal with the boy drama. Let me tell you how it is. It’s like, all the girls sit in one end and just talk about those naughty scenarios and whatnot they happened to did or did not do with the opposite sex. Before it was a huge issue to me cause of all the pressure (not straight-on pressure, but it’s the sort of pressure where they might not realize it – maybe they did but they prefer not to notice it or something.) like feeling left out or just the plain ol’ friend of mine, self-pity. But I sort of regained my confidence throughout the month and I know there are more things more important in life than boys, and when the time comes, I fall in love or whatever, I’ll let my future self deal with it. I’m not going to waste my time crying in self anguish while they run off and talk and talk about it. I mean, I know it’s a normal thing in our age, but I guess it’s just not my time yet. And still, if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t be talking about those private moments, but maybe that’s another thing that’s going on in teen culture. Tell your friends everything! I wouldn’t do it but just the thought of the guy telling what he had done, pretty much explains itself that I won’t be the wet end of the relationship. But I’ll just have to wait.
In the meantime, I’m being a baby over to my parents regarding the GK trip. I just SMSed my dad countless of times, telling him about the conference meeting and that I just had to go. I’m not missing this opportunity.
Oh great, I just remembered, I got my red tide now. And it’s tomorrow, ARGGH. I hope we’re not doing any dance steps cause it’ll just make me feel uncomfortable. I know that there’s a good chance I might run into my ex-crush. Oh gosh, the cringing moments. I was so, infatuated by him, but now its like, ‘seriously? Him?’ my scrapbook of life would always hate a part of my past.
Current mood? Bring it on! I just want to enjoy life, just press the PLAY! Button! Oh, and how is she doing??
Not in the mood for >> hmmph, might as well be exercising later to get rid of period pains.
There’s no point in life spending it just drowning yourself in self-pity over the things that other people don’t have. I hope that I can have enough sense to wallow for less than five minutes and then just move on. Cause that way it won’t take over the whole state of mind.
My style of writing – if I would have to describe it, I would say that’s its not as
story-ish or in other words, wild and imaginative as other people. I’m not the sort of writer who is able to write those odd stories, twisting its scenarios and situations into ones that you can’t imagine. I’m not able to write fantasy nor adventure moments which will leave you wishing for more of life’s adventures. My area of expertise at the current moment, and probably will ever be in the near future, is just life of an adolescence. It’s that time of going through that bridge that builds between your childhood and adulthood. People say that it’s one of the most memorable (probably both good and bad) times in your life. It’s the time where you find what you want to be – in the most simplistic terms. But it’s way more depth in it. You’ll tend to find the experiences where it’ll either shine or burn our hearts in a way that you’ll never imagine. It’s a gravestone in life – it’ll always be there whether we like or not. It’s prepares you in so much ways that you can’t tell directly, but when you find out, you’ll consider it as a much needed lesson learned. It’s going to be far from easy – but then again, life is way more worth it when it has more trials hurdled than one without it. Let time pass. We never can change the way that time ticks but we can change the way we think of it. Change is the thematic word in this journey.
And the way that human nature allows you to change in this odd yet familiar way is what is drawn to me. It’s something where every single adult had felt before. An unspoken bond that was tied to everyone in this Earth. What I want is to write those experiences, letting adolescences know that there are people out there who’ll tend to experience those times. Those dark and lonely times where you feel no one understands you. I myself had those times, telling myself that everyone must be leading better lives than me, getting angrier and angrier by the moment.
Okay, that’s just the beginning. I’m writing all sorts of things with no ends. I just can’t write ends that well, but when I finally find it, it just sparks the plug along with the other words.
If I have time, I’m considering sending this article to a teens site where I know they might take articles like these. If I get my senses in order – I know that I will.
posted by Jellybean at 10:29 PM
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