An Attempt to Tip the Scales..
Yeahh..the holidays are here. Finally a week to blow off some steam, get some relaxation, and whatnot.
Yesterday was a messed up day. Okay, the guy finally came over to my house. But we were alone. Most of the time. We even went to the rooftop together. Arggh, I really don’t know if he likes me or not. OMFGGG!!
I hate hanging on for this, seriously. ARGGGHH, it’s pissing the hell out of me. I’m in a bad mood today because of this. I’m in a bad mood because he didn’t sms asking if I got in trouble with my parents because my dad saw him with me today. Arggh, does he even care???
Why does liking a boy ever have to be this hard?? I hate hearing myself going on and on about this, but I’m keeping this to myself. It’s bad enough calling your friends and moaning and groaning about this guy, blab la bla. ARGGHHHH!!
But from what I think, I really think that he’s really intimidated that I haven’t done anything yet. ARGGH. The thing that’s killing me is that I have no idea what’s on his mind right now. I have no idea. Whether he’s turned off by that, or he’s just waiting for the right time….I HAVE NO CLUE!!!
I’m in desperation.. and ashamed.. how I could turn out something like this.
I mean…we talk…. But then… I have no idea L
You know what? Right now, I’m really certain that thinking about the future actually jinxes it. I mean seriously. I should really just think about the present and not always thing about the future. Thinking about the past is okay, because it already happened. But still! ARGGHHHH….I’m sick of hanging on for hope.. I really need to know soon.. but I can’t ask him.. it’s not…right. I wish he could do this for me..
I’m going out of my mind here.. seriously am..argghhhhhhh! I’m driving myself crazy..I can’t eat anymore…I’m not that hungry as much as I am..what else what else???
Okay, I don’t know why I do this but I want to discuss it here in my blog. The analytical way. I guess I’m just an over-analytical person…very critical and all that. When we’re chatting, he says flirting stuff to me, and yeahh, I hope I’m giving it all back to him. Maybe I’m taking all of this seriously, and I hate myself for it. I should just…let it all go…go with flow as what my friends say..and whatever happens. HAPPENS.
Sighs. How come you always want what you can’t get???? I don’t why I’m that happy that this other guy in Yogya sort of smses from time to time, he just doesn’t seem right. This other guy in my class I know has a thing for me, but still, I don’t want him. He’s a great friend though, but if we all get out of this alive, it’s still going through an awkward phase!!! Right now, all I want is him, him, him, him. I still can’t understand why he didn’t make a move on me yesterday. He had the chances!! We were all alone, like, the whole time. ARGGHHH!
Okay, what’s new?? Oh yeah, we finally got DSL. We got the modem and all, all we have to wait is the technician guy to come over and fix it for us. After that, it’s high speed internet baby!! Yet, we have a limit. I don’t know how long or upsettingly, how MUCH I can download songs..but, I hope it’s not like, 5 songs a month or something!! I’ll die!!!!
OK, what else?? I should really concentrate on my schoolwork this week, but I still need some time on doing my own free time, like, reading, doing whatever in the internet (internet! WOHOO!!), writing, blogging, spending time with mum (right now, cause of that GUY, I’m giving her and my dad a chip off the ol’ shoulder, in other words, I’m giving off my bad mood to them. I’m 100% guilty x(
By the way, I totally remember the look my dad gave off when he saw him. I was like, oh “FCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Hahaha, I didn’t get in trouble, thank goodness. But now, my dad’s like, really damn aware, I told him that it was Kim-Chi, this Korean dude that’s in my class. Hahaa, I know that he thinks that I might like him or something, but…..nahhh, he’s not my type. Hahahaa! Argghh, but I don’t want him to get overprotective of me, you know? It’s like, okay, during church, my parents hold hands… you know what? NEVERMIND.
Yesterday was a messed up day. Okay, the guy finally came over to my house. But we were alone. Most of the time. We even went to the rooftop together. Arggh, I really don’t know if he likes me or not. OMFGGG!!
I hate hanging on for this, seriously. ARGGGHH, it’s pissing the hell out of me. I’m in a bad mood today because of this. I’m in a bad mood because he didn’t sms asking if I got in trouble with my parents because my dad saw him with me today. Arggh, does he even care???
Why does liking a boy ever have to be this hard?? I hate hearing myself going on and on about this, but I’m keeping this to myself. It’s bad enough calling your friends and moaning and groaning about this guy, blab la bla. ARGGHHHH!!
But from what I think, I really think that he’s really intimidated that I haven’t done anything yet. ARGGH. The thing that’s killing me is that I have no idea what’s on his mind right now. I have no idea. Whether he’s turned off by that, or he’s just waiting for the right time….I HAVE NO CLUE!!!
I’m in desperation.. and ashamed.. how I could turn out something like this.
I mean…we talk…. But then… I have no idea L
You know what? Right now, I’m really certain that thinking about the future actually jinxes it. I mean seriously. I should really just think about the present and not always thing about the future. Thinking about the past is okay, because it already happened. But still! ARGGHHHH….I’m sick of hanging on for hope.. I really need to know soon.. but I can’t ask him.. it’s not…right. I wish he could do this for me..
I’m going out of my mind here.. seriously am..argghhhhhhh! I’m driving myself crazy..I can’t eat anymore…I’m not that hungry as much as I am..what else what else???
Okay, I don’t know why I do this but I want to discuss it here in my blog. The analytical way. I guess I’m just an over-analytical person…very critical and all that. When we’re chatting, he says flirting stuff to me, and yeahh, I hope I’m giving it all back to him. Maybe I’m taking all of this seriously, and I hate myself for it. I should just…let it all go…go with flow as what my friends say..and whatever happens. HAPPENS.
Sighs. How come you always want what you can’t get???? I don’t why I’m that happy that this other guy in Yogya sort of smses from time to time, he just doesn’t seem right. This other guy in my class I know has a thing for me, but still, I don’t want him. He’s a great friend though, but if we all get out of this alive, it’s still going through an awkward phase!!! Right now, all I want is him, him, him, him. I still can’t understand why he didn’t make a move on me yesterday. He had the chances!! We were all alone, like, the whole time. ARGGHHH!
Okay, what’s new?? Oh yeah, we finally got DSL. We got the modem and all, all we have to wait is the technician guy to come over and fix it for us. After that, it’s high speed internet baby!! Yet, we have a limit. I don’t know how long or upsettingly, how MUCH I can download songs..but, I hope it’s not like, 5 songs a month or something!! I’ll die!!!!
OK, what else?? I should really concentrate on my schoolwork this week, but I still need some time on doing my own free time, like, reading, doing whatever in the internet (internet! WOHOO!!), writing, blogging, spending time with mum (right now, cause of that GUY, I’m giving her and my dad a chip off the ol’ shoulder, in other words, I’m giving off my bad mood to them. I’m 100% guilty x(
By the way, I totally remember the look my dad gave off when he saw him. I was like, oh “FCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Hahaha, I didn’t get in trouble, thank goodness. But now, my dad’s like, really damn aware, I told him that it was Kim-Chi, this Korean dude that’s in my class. Hahaa, I know that he thinks that I might like him or something, but…..nahhh, he’s not my type. Hahahaa! Argghh, but I don’t want him to get overprotective of me, you know? It’s like, okay, during church, my parents hold hands… you know what? NEVERMIND.
posted by Jellybean at 8:38 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home