I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend..

that song is pretty awesome from the Ramones. Well, haven't heard the original one but I heard it in the Ramones tribute. im also currently in love with youth group 'forever young' - just this afternoon during another boring school day, the line, 'do you really want to live forever, forever young?' just hit me in the back. i had that sort of moment, not like an emancipation moment, but the sort of moment where, you realize what you are right now. i mean, your actually a teenager, but you're not going to be a teenager later. what really sort of left me with a scar was that..i think i'm going to miss being in school, laughing, reading teen magazines, overcoming that ridiculous fear of talking to the guys i lyke, and you know, all that teenagery things. it may not be the best explanation but the feeling i felt was pretty much undescribable. u just gotta go inside my mind for that.
i can't stand to think what life would be like without GK - apart from the tim comsuming practices, it's a really great bonding session. yet i think fears are going to be left unanswered at the end. personal fears. lyke i said, it was supposed to be a great bonding session, but why do i feel...im still in the outside? lyke i don't belong.im supposed 2 be that confident gal..but it just doesn't feel right..
2 more days..just 2 more dayys..then it's..gone. its very unbearable, and the pain of what my life will be like at school..boring..and just not the same anymore..CLEARLY. im wayyy more quiet now. which is the total opposite direction in which i want 2 get going..and let me tell you...its pretty hard. yet i still want to be forever young.