Crown of Love..
doesn't that sound familiar? doesn't that make you shiver? the way things could have gone? doesn't that feel peculiar? everyone wants a little more..
current soundtrack of my life _ okay, i'm not quite sure what the song is about, but it's mostly having to do about someone that she probably have loved before but then he broke her heart. and that's why she's sort of asking him to leave her with a scar - a constant reminder not to dive in too deep because the pain afterwards is almost unbearable. she doesn't want to make the same mistake as before.
i'm not currently experiencing that. i wasn't in love with him, i just liked him a lot. and the fact that she didn't have to lift a finger to get him to be attracted to her. okay, i think i may be contradicting things from my point of view and it may seem quite unfair if i continue to do that, making myself seem ego-centric and all. but i got it all out of my system - i bawled at the bathroom floor alone. i remember i had never felt so alone before. maybe the most upsetting thing is that....probably i felt i wasn't 'good' enough for him..but then i realized that it was just one guy..but then i started thinking about the past...obviously there were a similiar problem in that area as well. but now, i really think i don't like that guy - don't wanna make the same mistakes..liking the same jerk all over again..so if they really like each other, so be it.
if we are really friends, which i really hope so, she would aske me first if she really liked that guy. i mean, she knows that i was in total head over heels over that jerk last year. i could tell it might grow and she's sort of doubting it, but you never really know until she tells you, right? but i'm hanging on to that. sighs. oh well.
this year - i don't want the issue of NOT having a boyfriend yet be the issue of all the problems. there are definitely other issues that are wayy more important than that. that may form some sort of new balance in my life - not facing into what other people are doing and all. accept what God has given me. not compare myself to other people. express my individuality. focus on the future bugs and not the ones @ hand, like what it's said on horoscopes. damn, there's plentiful of things that i hope to change towards myself this year.
TODAY'S HOROSCOPE -
The Bottom Line
The problems at hand aren't the biggest issues -- focus on preventing future bugs.
In Detail
The issues of today aren't really as threatening as they look at first glance. Early in the morning, keep your chin up -- maintaining a positive attitude will quickly deactivate any potential bombs. You'd be surprised how far a smile and a wave can take you. Once the petty stuff of the day is finished, turn your attention to future plans. A trip or big purchase has been in the back of your mind for a while, so why not push it to the front? Get some ideas on paper.
sighs. i sort of talked to my dad last night, and asked him whether *IF* IF* (and that's a huge if - meaning the possiblility of it may be sort of out of reach at the moment) we had enough money or in other words, my dad could find a good job soon, i could move school. there are thousands of reasons - mostly because of the social life and especially the rapidly decreasing education. okay, i must admit that when i told my mom about the situation in school - a little bit of exaggeration sort of followed. but seriously, the last days, wait, weeks of school was the worst.
and i just found out that my parents still doesn't have the money to pay for the school bills. we're still waiting on the SLOWWWW as hell clients who hasn't paid yet. sighs.
as much as i want this year to be WAYYYYY better than the past years...i sort of highly doubt it..but its camouflaged between the high hopes and blessings..
if things aren't working out in this sad sad situation..i really want to get out of it. hoping that all will start anew a little bit sooner.
hmm..what else?
i'll keep my hopes up. sighs. sometimes whatever you do - it doesn't feel enough for you. and i can't keep continuing it.
toodles.
current soundtrack of my life _ okay, i'm not quite sure what the song is about, but it's mostly having to do about someone that she probably have loved before but then he broke her heart. and that's why she's sort of asking him to leave her with a scar - a constant reminder not to dive in too deep because the pain afterwards is almost unbearable. she doesn't want to make the same mistake as before.
i'm not currently experiencing that. i wasn't in love with him, i just liked him a lot. and the fact that she didn't have to lift a finger to get him to be attracted to her. okay, i think i may be contradicting things from my point of view and it may seem quite unfair if i continue to do that, making myself seem ego-centric and all. but i got it all out of my system - i bawled at the bathroom floor alone. i remember i had never felt so alone before. maybe the most upsetting thing is that....probably i felt i wasn't 'good' enough for him..but then i realized that it was just one guy..but then i started thinking about the past...obviously there were a similiar problem in that area as well. but now, i really think i don't like that guy - don't wanna make the same mistakes..liking the same jerk all over again..so if they really like each other, so be it.
if we are really friends, which i really hope so, she would aske me first if she really liked that guy. i mean, she knows that i was in total head over heels over that jerk last year. i could tell it might grow and she's sort of doubting it, but you never really know until she tells you, right? but i'm hanging on to that. sighs. oh well.
this year - i don't want the issue of NOT having a boyfriend yet be the issue of all the problems. there are definitely other issues that are wayy more important than that. that may form some sort of new balance in my life - not facing into what other people are doing and all. accept what God has given me. not compare myself to other people. express my individuality. focus on the future bugs and not the ones @ hand, like what it's said on horoscopes. damn, there's plentiful of things that i hope to change towards myself this year.
TODAY'S HOROSCOPE -
The Bottom Line
The problems at hand aren't the biggest issues -- focus on preventing future bugs.
In Detail
The issues of today aren't really as threatening as they look at first glance. Early in the morning, keep your chin up -- maintaining a positive attitude will quickly deactivate any potential bombs. You'd be surprised how far a smile and a wave can take you. Once the petty stuff of the day is finished, turn your attention to future plans. A trip or big purchase has been in the back of your mind for a while, so why not push it to the front? Get some ideas on paper.
sighs. i sort of talked to my dad last night, and asked him whether *IF* IF* (and that's a huge if - meaning the possiblility of it may be sort of out of reach at the moment) we had enough money or in other words, my dad could find a good job soon, i could move school. there are thousands of reasons - mostly because of the social life and especially the rapidly decreasing education. okay, i must admit that when i told my mom about the situation in school - a little bit of exaggeration sort of followed. but seriously, the last days, wait, weeks of school was the worst.
and i just found out that my parents still doesn't have the money to pay for the school bills. we're still waiting on the SLOWWWW as hell clients who hasn't paid yet. sighs.
as much as i want this year to be WAYYYYY better than the past years...i sort of highly doubt it..but its camouflaged between the high hopes and blessings..
if things aren't working out in this sad sad situation..i really want to get out of it. hoping that all will start anew a little bit sooner.
hmm..what else?
i'll keep my hopes up. sighs. sometimes whatever you do - it doesn't feel enough for you. and i can't keep continuing it.
toodles.
posted by Jellybean at 6:31 AM
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