Eyes Open..
sometimes dreams aren't meant to be told.
sure, temptations arise but at the end of it, it's all up to how strong your beliefs are. i don't really know in what i believe in my own writing and thoughts towards pop culture. the thing is, i don't want to sucked into it, but there are times where it's just..there. i don't want to label anything, i say to myself that i'm anti-pop or rebellious cause i know that'll make me a hypocrite. maybe i'm mixing in my beliefs with the beliefs of others - consider them as the influences. i don't want my personality to be created by the articles and criticism of others. i want my personality to be for who i am and what i am - what i'm truly saying from beneath and not what my friends or whoever is saying to me. if that's their opinion, then fine. i shouldn't be accepting it cause i'm afraid of voicing out my own opinion. i don't know, it's all so confusing.
like someone else said, i want to write something meaningful, and all the words that are coming out of this little head of mine isn't the ones that i wanted it to be. its very damn limited. either that or i'm just not really comfortable of my innerself. or maybe it's because i'm living up to someone's expectations. out of the latter, i think the last one is right.
i'm not that comfortable with myself anymore. i thought i was, but i thought wrong.
i don't really feel well - mostly because my stomach feels funny prior because of this morning's incident..i don't know.
i miss listening to purevolume.com - this internet connection could seriously make a person wait forever. further seems forever. you see, i keep dropping references from what i heard somewhere in the media before! arggh, this is infuriating me.
i need to read something. anything.
i keep hoping for faster internet connection. but the money hasn't been paid yet and ARGGH.
i have a feeling that this is going to be another bad day. what comes in a good one - a bad one, an aftertaste always follows. yesterday was a pretty good day, i spent it with my mom
i am the movie - a pretty bad one. i should really stop before my imagination goes too far and it'll give me the serious after effects.
i just snapped at my mom - i still feel guilty over it.
i just want this day to get over with. it's seriously going to a very bad one.
i feel like writing a poem - not here though. a fear comes over me that it's not going to live in those 'expectations '.
sure, temptations arise but at the end of it, it's all up to how strong your beliefs are. i don't really know in what i believe in my own writing and thoughts towards pop culture. the thing is, i don't want to sucked into it, but there are times where it's just..there. i don't want to label anything, i say to myself that i'm anti-pop or rebellious cause i know that'll make me a hypocrite. maybe i'm mixing in my beliefs with the beliefs of others - consider them as the influences. i don't want my personality to be created by the articles and criticism of others. i want my personality to be for who i am and what i am - what i'm truly saying from beneath and not what my friends or whoever is saying to me. if that's their opinion, then fine. i shouldn't be accepting it cause i'm afraid of voicing out my own opinion. i don't know, it's all so confusing.
like someone else said, i want to write something meaningful, and all the words that are coming out of this little head of mine isn't the ones that i wanted it to be. its very damn limited. either that or i'm just not really comfortable of my innerself. or maybe it's because i'm living up to someone's expectations. out of the latter, i think the last one is right.
i'm not that comfortable with myself anymore. i thought i was, but i thought wrong.
i don't really feel well - mostly because my stomach feels funny prior because of this morning's incident..i don't know.
i miss listening to purevolume.com - this internet connection could seriously make a person wait forever. further seems forever. you see, i keep dropping references from what i heard somewhere in the media before! arggh, this is infuriating me.
i need to read something. anything.
i keep hoping for faster internet connection. but the money hasn't been paid yet and ARGGH.
i have a feeling that this is going to be another bad day. what comes in a good one - a bad one, an aftertaste always follows. yesterday was a pretty good day, i spent it with my mom
i am the movie - a pretty bad one. i should really stop before my imagination goes too far and it'll give me the serious after effects.
i just snapped at my mom - i still feel guilty over it.
i just want this day to get over with. it's seriously going to a very bad one.
i feel like writing a poem - not here though. a fear comes over me that it's not going to live in those 'expectations '.
posted by Jellybean at 7:11 PM
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