Distraction..
it's a little bit funny. this feeling inside.
nope, i'm not in love. but something feels wrong - like promising yourself you wouldn't do it anymore but then you're helpless its desire, it's temptation. sighs.
i'll take a deep breath and remember there is tommorow where the sun sets anew and i can pretend once again to blend in. but that tiny little voice in my head will always remember.
i'm not as strong-minded as i think am. i think i just need a stronger dose of perseverance.
it's a wonder whether all the times where i talk about myself, i'm insulting my own religion. it's sort of confusing.
what else to say?? i'm sort of proud of what i've done to my journal. sometimes i think of sharing it publicly, but i dunno. if it'll happen, it'll happen. in the meantime, i'll write it all down. i'll write all down for all who cares. it's therapeutic enough.
money. popularity. fame.
everything seems so confusing. i try to numb the pain by watching someone else's issues but i can't concentrate. i find myself distracted on focusing on my own issues - that's yearning to all come out. but ropes, ropes of life, ropes that scream out how life is sooo limited.
doesn't anyone sometimes wish that they can go to place where it's all UNLIMITED? theres always a place like that - it just matters how far you would go, in your own imagination. but it's only in your imagination. you want more, you want to see it in your own eyes. to distinguish whatevers real. to create an existence that can only be finalized by your own two eyes.
i want a place where i can break free. i want a place where i myself won't let down by my insincere judgements. where insecurities cannot go. i want a place where i can do anything i want.
sometimes being myself feels like a burden.
i still feel confused.
nope, i'm not in love. but something feels wrong - like promising yourself you wouldn't do it anymore but then you're helpless its desire, it's temptation. sighs.
i'll take a deep breath and remember there is tommorow where the sun sets anew and i can pretend once again to blend in. but that tiny little voice in my head will always remember.
i'm not as strong-minded as i think am. i think i just need a stronger dose of perseverance.
it's a wonder whether all the times where i talk about myself, i'm insulting my own religion. it's sort of confusing.
what else to say?? i'm sort of proud of what i've done to my journal. sometimes i think of sharing it publicly, but i dunno. if it'll happen, it'll happen. in the meantime, i'll write it all down. i'll write all down for all who cares. it's therapeutic enough.
money. popularity. fame.
everything seems so confusing. i try to numb the pain by watching someone else's issues but i can't concentrate. i find myself distracted on focusing on my own issues - that's yearning to all come out. but ropes, ropes of life, ropes that scream out how life is sooo limited.
doesn't anyone sometimes wish that they can go to place where it's all UNLIMITED? theres always a place like that - it just matters how far you would go, in your own imagination. but it's only in your imagination. you want more, you want to see it in your own eyes. to distinguish whatevers real. to create an existence that can only be finalized by your own two eyes.
i want a place where i can break free. i want a place where i myself won't let down by my insincere judgements. where insecurities cannot go. i want a place where i can do anything i want.
sometimes being myself feels like a burden.
i still feel confused.
posted by Jellybean at 2:15 AM
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