The Secret's in the Telling..

im not at home. im at my dad's office, and all i can say is,
wow its pretty small.
have dance practice in an hour. im not looking forward to anything except to dance and hope that this year's show will be just grand. not hoping that whoever is looking at me. i don't want to be those type of girl. what's worse, i don't want to become one of them, because i know that deep down inside that i really don't think that i have what it takes. i don't have those looks where everyone just stops and stares. i don't have that drop dead gorgeous aura that i used to think i have. i rather have a gorgeous personality then gorgeous looks. and because of that, i'll focus on the personality then. it's such a shame that guys nowadays look for the looks instead of the personality.
hmmph, i think i talked about this before.
continuing. yeah, i guess it makes me some sort of hypocrite if i crash that sort of thoughts because, i think i do that sometimes. but the eye i'm eyeing at, he has the heart, which is probably the most important thing in which we are supposed to be looking for.

i promise myself that i won't distract myself into him
i promise myself that that i fully acknowledge that something will not happen
i promise myself that i won't cry over him
i promise myself that i would talk to him..if he talked to me first..
i promise myself that it won't be taken seriously..
i promise myself that I would God first in the dances..aside from all the hoping of being invited from the others and making friends..which backfires at the end and leaves me feeling empty..that the only reason i'm there is to help the POOR & serve God.
i promise myself that the comparisons will cease..in time.
so long, so long..

i'll sit here and listen to my music. dashboard confessional's 'so long, so long' and wait for better days.
sitting, waiting, wishing instead of walking, doing, and achieving.
give me some time. i'll know i'll prove myself when the time is right. no more procastination.
i'll be ready. you just wait.
i'm sorry for doing the same mistakes again. that's the one thing that i can't promise anymore. i can't count on myself for doing the same mistakes once again. i guess you can call that my weakness.