Stay Out of Trouble..
Why does life have to stink?
I could have smelled it from wayyyy before.Today's gone off with a bad start. I ate a J.CO donut and it already my stomach is starting to swell up.It feels bloated and crappy from all the extra sugar.It's like this, feeling you need to go to the toilet and do NO.2 but your stomach doesn't feel lyke it. Like, it's on hold. I hate that feeling. And then all those stupid feelings that make you feel worthless starts coming in. First iyou just can't control it, andthen it leaves you feeling quite dirty. Even right now, I hate myself just because I'm wondering how my bestie went to the mall...maybe it's because of that someone *another friend who she might be getting close to these past few weeks*..because I know she wouldn't go to the mall alone..she's not like that...I don't know, maybe it's my fear of rejection *the fear that she might ditch me because I'm not good enough or something*. Maybe it's partly because I realize maybe I might be getting into the habit as well. In conclusion, I should really be nice to people...whoever they are...
I know it sounds like a simple lesson that it's easy to follow but seriously, it can get a little more complicated.
Especially when peer pressure is involved, including the pressure to be not pressured. I mean, pressure is actually everywhere. I don't know whether you can call it pressure in some cases but it damn feels like it sometimes.
I hope this all ends. I'll stop talkng right now because my head can't seem to process like my initial gut right now due to this depressing mood. Why is it always on Sundays???
I could have smelled it from wayyyy before.Today's gone off with a bad start. I ate a J.CO donut and it already my stomach is starting to swell up.It feels bloated and crappy from all the extra sugar.It's like this, feeling you need to go to the toilet and do NO.2 but your stomach doesn't feel lyke it. Like, it's on hold. I hate that feeling. And then all those stupid feelings that make you feel worthless starts coming in. First iyou just can't control it, andthen it leaves you feeling quite dirty. Even right now, I hate myself just because I'm wondering how my bestie went to the mall...maybe it's because of that someone *another friend who she might be getting close to these past few weeks*..because I know she wouldn't go to the mall alone..she's not like that...I don't know, maybe it's my fear of rejection *the fear that she might ditch me because I'm not good enough or something*. Maybe it's partly because I realize maybe I might be getting into the habit as well. In conclusion, I should really be nice to people...whoever they are...
I know it sounds like a simple lesson that it's easy to follow but seriously, it can get a little more complicated.
Especially when peer pressure is involved, including the pressure to be not pressured. I mean, pressure is actually everywhere. I don't know whether you can call it pressure in some cases but it damn feels like it sometimes.
I hope this all ends. I'll stop talkng right now because my head can't seem to process like my initial gut right now due to this depressing mood. Why is it always on Sundays???
posted by Jellybean at 8:35 PM
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