The Missing Frame..
hahaaa.
finally, he talked to me after all those days of sitting, waiting, wishing. but the whole situation is still left up in the air. now, i'm soooo clueless whether he likes me or not. arggh. i hate not knowing, you know? sometimes my mind plays tricks on me - sometimes i catch myself thinking about him and wanting to be with him, but then other times, it's like, who cares? i'm stuck in between..
last night was again..one of those nights. i fell asleep..i can't sleep again in the sound of silence again..the fear overhwhelms me..the past experiences are still much too strong in my head. i need something light and distracting to help me drift off to the REM mood. last night i woke up in the middle of the night and that's when i heard it..i seriously dislike those moments..but it's really a wakeup call for me..i realized how selfish i been..mostly lost in daydreams because of this guy who may or may not like me...
i feel guilty..but i promised myself that i would try my hardest this time. last night, when i was praying the rosary..i realized it all...i shouldn't be so selfish..and try to think for others for a change..especially my parents..
it's weird huh? talking something so personal like that right after i moan about the other guy. the funny thing is, right after i went back to my bedroom..i just wanted to be with him..i missed him in a weird way..but that soon was forgotten when i started praying the rosary..and hoping that the sound of silence was still in all there, buried deep within, and wishing that i wouldn't let my ears hear those sounds that awoke me in the first place.
but that's just the way it is. like why i chose this sort of color for this entry..which is supposed to be all..not happy..hahahha
apart from boy troubles inside..i'm proud of myself that i finished the bahasa indo project..but i know the highest i may get is 80-85..maybe lower i don't know..i worried my ass over it..but i understand if i get that sort of score, because of my limited vocabulary of the language...that's the disadvantage of being a foreigner there..i think i told you about that..
hmmm..music music..i still yearn to expand it as much as i can..but despite of limited resources and current situations..i'll just hold on to that for a better day..
someday i'll appreciate and value..get off my ass and call you..yeah right..you better call me first..
i hate mixed signals...i hate diving in deeper than it it really is..but sometimes i just can't help myself.
right now, i'm still wondering why i spent all those times thinking about you.
where is your boy tonight?
argghh..lack of sleep and confidence and self-esteem all under this day, but yet, i still feel alright..
the light-headedness will soon be over.
i took my bow, when while you confirmed all your saddest fears.
some of these words i wish i could written myself but i took someone other's penmanship and granted them their supposed glory.
xoxoxo
mucho love.
angelica
finally, he talked to me after all those days of sitting, waiting, wishing. but the whole situation is still left up in the air. now, i'm soooo clueless whether he likes me or not. arggh. i hate not knowing, you know? sometimes my mind plays tricks on me - sometimes i catch myself thinking about him and wanting to be with him, but then other times, it's like, who cares? i'm stuck in between..
last night was again..one of those nights. i fell asleep..i can't sleep again in the sound of silence again..the fear overhwhelms me..the past experiences are still much too strong in my head. i need something light and distracting to help me drift off to the REM mood. last night i woke up in the middle of the night and that's when i heard it..i seriously dislike those moments..but it's really a wakeup call for me..i realized how selfish i been..mostly lost in daydreams because of this guy who may or may not like me...
i feel guilty..but i promised myself that i would try my hardest this time. last night, when i was praying the rosary..i realized it all...i shouldn't be so selfish..and try to think for others for a change..especially my parents..
it's weird huh? talking something so personal like that right after i moan about the other guy. the funny thing is, right after i went back to my bedroom..i just wanted to be with him..i missed him in a weird way..but that soon was forgotten when i started praying the rosary..and hoping that the sound of silence was still in all there, buried deep within, and wishing that i wouldn't let my ears hear those sounds that awoke me in the first place.
but that's just the way it is. like why i chose this sort of color for this entry..which is supposed to be all..not happy..hahahha
apart from boy troubles inside..i'm proud of myself that i finished the bahasa indo project..but i know the highest i may get is 80-85..maybe lower i don't know..i worried my ass over it..but i understand if i get that sort of score, because of my limited vocabulary of the language...that's the disadvantage of being a foreigner there..i think i told you about that..
hmmm..music music..i still yearn to expand it as much as i can..but despite of limited resources and current situations..i'll just hold on to that for a better day..
someday i'll appreciate and value..get off my ass and call you..yeah right..you better call me first..
i hate mixed signals...i hate diving in deeper than it it really is..but sometimes i just can't help myself.
right now, i'm still wondering why i spent all those times thinking about you.
where is your boy tonight?
argghh..lack of sleep and confidence and self-esteem all under this day, but yet, i still feel alright..
the light-headedness will soon be over.
i took my bow, when while you confirmed all your saddest fears.
some of these words i wish i could written myself but i took someone other's penmanship and granted them their supposed glory.
xoxoxo
mucho love.
angelica
posted by Jellybean at 11:45 PM
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