Girlfriend..

I know that you like me.
Things are doing pretty great with me and my boyfriend.
"Private" with the emphasis times, huh? Last night was one of those times.
I did my first ......., it was alright I guess. It got pretty tiring though, my neck started hurting.
When he actually came, I just didn't want to taste it and swallowed it pretty fast.
I know it's soo worrisome of me, but I don't know if it actually went in or not. I really don't think so; he was wearing boxers and I was wearing underwear as well but it didn't go in. I don't know, I really should stop worrying.
I guess things got out of hand last night.
Ahh.
It's finally the holidays. I f-ing loving the holidays. My parents aren't here (my mom just went to Aceh) until Monday. Can you say freedom?

I don't know what else to comprehend. When I'm around my boyfriend it feels that I love him, but in the same time, I just don't want other people to know about it. Because of that, I feel absolutely vulnerable to him.
What I also worry about is that whether those things that I do contradicts with my faith with the Lord. I don't want to say, 'hey, but other people are doing as well, even my friends!' I really don't want to compare myself with others. I really care about him and I just.. I don't know, want to make him happy. I know that he loves me very much and that he's not using me or anything like that.
During my latest confession, my priest actually said to me that sex is actually a good thing, but it's the way you think about it. I'm no wise person on that, I get my hormones out sometimes usually, but I guess I'll just live on to find out the real answer.
I hope I'm not pregnant. Enough said.