Like A Stone..

I’m so messed up.
It’s nearly half past 10, and I still need to do my homework and stuff.
I’m in infatuated, maybe in love, with someone I don’t even know
I love you in hour increments.
I’m listening to the radio – listening to unknown yet familiar voices laughing and having a conversation.
I want him.
I need him so badly.
I’m lonely
I’m in dire need of someone to love. Someone like ‘him’. It’s so depressing, I swear. I’m in love with someone that I absolutely have no chance in.
I’m crazy for him so much.
I want him to be here.
I want him to be with me.
I try and not let it get me. But it just keeps coming back more special and just happier as the dreams can sweep me for a small amount of time.
I want him to look in my eyes – and show that everything is alright in his arms.
I want everything from him.
The thought of me being alone here in my apartment
I don’t want any girl to have him except me. I still want girls to be into him, but the special wish that he chooses me instead of them is just the greatest choice I would ever cherish.
He’s 2000 miles apart
He might be into one special girl – or may have many affairs – or whatever, but I just can’t help but feel, I’m the only one for him.
That girl would never love him the way that I do.
He’s so special in my heart.
I keep thinking and wishing that my future guy would be like him in every way.
I’m sick of being single. I want a guy like him though.
I drive myself crazy every time I doom myself to click it.
I guess I’ll move on – but I wish you’ll always be there in my heart. Even though you have no idea that I exist L >>>> hardest sentence x(
I want a guy exactly like you – same hair, same smile, same mouth, same style, same personality, same deep passion for writing. There’s a trillions of people out there, is there any chance that someone as special as you can come here to me.
I’ll treat you right just as long as you treat me right first.
I’m listening to a weird Indo. Jazz song. Weird.
I’m saying this to the feeling that grabs your everyday thoughts and swish’swirl it till stops your present mind from working. It feels great and depressing at the same time. Everyone tends to experience it. I’ll spill out more when I have more time and when it’s not almost midnight in a school night. I’m getting tired.
I miss my mom. I want her to be alright. I miss my dad. I want him to be with my mom. That makes it okay for me to stay here all by myself. A scarring mark of small independence that teens my age never get to experience much.
So long.
I heart him forever.
I hope he's out there.