Recovery..

i set my clocks early cause i'm always late.
if only i had the writing skills that FOB has. in english, we're supposed to write a song about ourselves - it's really exciting, but i'm nervous of what the outcome. i don't know, maybe i'm just curious of what can i achieve if i put my 110% on it. i'm still working on the draft. a few verses, but nothing quite certain. the more i read about the music industry, the more interested i'm in. what i really like, is getting more bands like FOB, with REAL and inspiring songs and making their music more known. I want to start an independent music label, a sucessful one that is quite known, but not fully known to the public, but it stays true to the roots of real, actual music. A lot of people may argue how FOB is fake and just another rags-to-riches story, but I am proud to say that I am one of their true admirers. I admire them and who they are, in the eyes of everyone - the eyes of the public, the eyes of TRL boppers, the eyes of their real admirers. I hope they continue to pursue their music career for a significant amount of time.
It's not what people think about me. It's what I think about myself. I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe it makes it more meaningful then not saying it at all. But everytime, I fall in the same trap. The same trap all over and over again.
I'm not just saying that in one issue, but the whole thing in general life. It's all there. It's always been there. Some people just have what you don't want, so you just got to accept what you have. Oh, and hope for better futures. Haha, that's my signature line now.
Right now, I'm in a point in my life where I'm recognizing what is important and what is not. Even though I still follow what I know is not that important, it's better to be aware of it then not to be aware of it at all. It's just a matter of how I could step back before it gets wrong. Maybe I've been lucky, or it's simply not as bad as I describe it.
Hmm, what else? MUSIC = LIFE. Just because I'm joining what the crowd is into (Friendster, Myspace, whatnot) it's not all bad. Let's put in this way, it's a place where you can express your creativity. I don't want it to be a competition, although sometimes to me it feels like it. To have the most friends, or a specific amount of friends to wipe away the status of 'Loner'. Arggh, that's the thing that I'm talking about before. But everytime, I fall for it.
Thank goodness I have someplace to talk about this. If I had to bottle all of this up, I seriously wouldn't be the person I am today.
Let's put in this way, WRITING + MUSIC = LIFE.
Give me your strength. I yearn for your golden wings.
i love you God. Even though I don't show it as much as I want you, my inner instincts tell me to get closer to you as much as I can. I love you I love you.
I should have concentrated more in today's household, but those distractions came again and again.
the eagerness for something to happen is not that bad anymore. but i want to see how he's doing. i didn't know he went today. and it gave me a temporary smile in my face. hehehe, it felt good. but it would have been better if he could have talked to me. we barely saw each other, we barely talked at all. arggh. boys. they're the mentors of disappointment.
ohh, my crush. CRUSH. it crushes your heart. that's why the call them crush.
a little crush. A HUGE CRUSH. the more you put more feeling to it, you understand that's the amount thrown back at you.
i can get lost in myself in music without loosening the grasp in reality.
hope for better futures.
I LOVE YOU GOD.