Heart of Glass..
I’m sick and tired of being a trashed out person.
It’s pretty hard to explain, but everytime I want to become a better person, psychically and emotionally, it goes pretty well for awhile, until I destroy it all. I give in. It’s a sign of weakness. And because of that, I absolutely despise myself afterwards. A moment’s pleasure for a lifetime of hatrid. A residue that leaves me bitter and guilt. I am hoping that writing it can identify myself and try to make it all back. I know I may not be clear in what I’m trying to say.
** someone who’s not so self-conscious that she secretly checks herself in the mirror whenever no one’s looking.
** someone who does not give in to the selfish demons that seem to overpower me the more I try to fight them back.
** someone who’s not afraid to accept who is she is, even though she’s not the smartest, richest, prettiest, most popular or whatever. Always thought that I got this covered but then I realize that I actually do care.
** someone who takes care of their friends – both equally and with passion.
** someone who’s not afraid to accept her flaws and easily throw away her insecurities on herself and others.
** someone who can always count on herself when the going gets rough.
** someone who can make friends the same time she can click her fingers.
** someone who has full trust on herself and God, who can express her catholic faith despite of the vast differences in her environment.
** I just gave you my biggest (currently) confession.
From time to time, I’ve been thinking about my future. I know I have a pretty clear idea of what I can hope in the future (it’s pretty similar to everyone, they want to be successful, rich, etc) but the main thing that I can always keep either whether I’m in 25 or 55, is that I can be truly happy. I don’t want to be happy because of fame or fortune or whatever, I just want to be happy with the people around me, and the person that I become. Whether I’m a struggling writer, a famous novelist, or a magazine editor I want to happy how I got there. Successful may be the word here, I guess. Call me crazy but, I think I may get the disease that’s been going on my family for quite a while now in the future. And it’s going to dominate my life from that moment on. It’s going to give me a huge perspective on life that I can never imagine before. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. All I can hope for now is that whenever that day comes, I want to go back to this blog and remember the time where I felt I almost wanted to deal with this.
I know they’re my friends, but why do I feel that I want to stay home whenever they ask me to come and hang out with them. It’s a probability because of my parents. Apparently, my dad is sort of complaining that I don’t wash the dishes and all that, and that I always hangout with my friends, maybe a little too much, and my mom just spilled that out to me. I can’t help but feel a little trapped. I know her situation but it still leaves me a distaste when she said I can’t do that when she comes home. Like I have to stay home all the time. I feel trapped. One of the classic symptoms of a becoming angst teen.
My world becomes your world once I hear anything that has your name on it.
Best self-quote yet. I can’t believe I just made that.
100% true.
All those dreams are almost for nothing. I’m so looking forward to watch A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch me and watch you act as a hot vampire. Never thought of a vampire making me drool. Still, I can’t wait. I’ll be happy for a moment, then I’ll be lonely in the next because I can’t get next you.
Forget it, I almost made half of my entries crying over you.
I can’t forget you anymore. I need to though.
Still fawning over the quote I made for you.
Still the fact that you don’t have anyone at the moment is still making me happy. Ha, talking about a person like me having a chance with someone like you.
I will thank God later for giving me your constant presence which rocked my world. Thank you.
My dreams with you will slowly fade away. But I would always remember the feelings I have pressed on these keys everytime I find a time to read them once again. It will stay a secret, no one needs to know.
A heartbreaker with a heart of gold.
Must go back to my life. Thank goodness 24 can spare me minutes of much needed relief.
Thank you again.
It all comes again with a single click.
**lovefool** >>> a song so desperate yet so understandable.
It’s pretty hard to explain, but everytime I want to become a better person, psychically and emotionally, it goes pretty well for awhile, until I destroy it all. I give in. It’s a sign of weakness. And because of that, I absolutely despise myself afterwards. A moment’s pleasure for a lifetime of hatrid. A residue that leaves me bitter and guilt. I am hoping that writing it can identify myself and try to make it all back. I know I may not be clear in what I’m trying to say.
** someone who’s not so self-conscious that she secretly checks herself in the mirror whenever no one’s looking.
** someone who does not give in to the selfish demons that seem to overpower me the more I try to fight them back.
** someone who’s not afraid to accept who is she is, even though she’s not the smartest, richest, prettiest, most popular or whatever. Always thought that I got this covered but then I realize that I actually do care.
** someone who takes care of their friends – both equally and with passion.
** someone who’s not afraid to accept her flaws and easily throw away her insecurities on herself and others.
** someone who can always count on herself when the going gets rough.
** someone who can make friends the same time she can click her fingers.
** someone who has full trust on herself and God, who can express her catholic faith despite of the vast differences in her environment.
** I just gave you my biggest (currently) confession.
From time to time, I’ve been thinking about my future. I know I have a pretty clear idea of what I can hope in the future (it’s pretty similar to everyone, they want to be successful, rich, etc) but the main thing that I can always keep either whether I’m in 25 or 55, is that I can be truly happy. I don’t want to be happy because of fame or fortune or whatever, I just want to be happy with the people around me, and the person that I become. Whether I’m a struggling writer, a famous novelist, or a magazine editor I want to happy how I got there. Successful may be the word here, I guess. Call me crazy but, I think I may get the disease that’s been going on my family for quite a while now in the future. And it’s going to dominate my life from that moment on. It’s going to give me a huge perspective on life that I can never imagine before. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. All I can hope for now is that whenever that day comes, I want to go back to this blog and remember the time where I felt I almost wanted to deal with this.
I know they’re my friends, but why do I feel that I want to stay home whenever they ask me to come and hang out with them. It’s a probability because of my parents. Apparently, my dad is sort of complaining that I don’t wash the dishes and all that, and that I always hangout with my friends, maybe a little too much, and my mom just spilled that out to me. I can’t help but feel a little trapped. I know her situation but it still leaves me a distaste when she said I can’t do that when she comes home. Like I have to stay home all the time. I feel trapped. One of the classic symptoms of a becoming angst teen.
My world becomes your world once I hear anything that has your name on it.
Best self-quote yet. I can’t believe I just made that.
100% true.
All those dreams are almost for nothing. I’m so looking forward to watch A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch me and watch you act as a hot vampire. Never thought of a vampire making me drool. Still, I can’t wait. I’ll be happy for a moment, then I’ll be lonely in the next because I can’t get next you.
Forget it, I almost made half of my entries crying over you.
I can’t forget you anymore. I need to though.
Still fawning over the quote I made for you.
Still the fact that you don’t have anyone at the moment is still making me happy. Ha, talking about a person like me having a chance with someone like you.
I will thank God later for giving me your constant presence which rocked my world. Thank you.
My dreams with you will slowly fade away. But I would always remember the feelings I have pressed on these keys everytime I find a time to read them once again. It will stay a secret, no one needs to know.
A heartbreaker with a heart of gold.
Must go back to my life. Thank goodness 24 can spare me minutes of much needed relief.
Thank you again.
It all comes again with a single click.
**lovefool** >>> a song so desperate yet so understandable.
posted by Jellybean at 10:04 PM
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