Summer Skin...
It’s the time where the disappointments set in. It’s been a weird day so far. I’m all by myself, listening to my ipod while writing this. It’s supposed to fun, being myself and all, but all these disappointments are showing in my doorstep. First of all, my whole apartment’s a mess. I don’t want to go into details like before, and then, two things that really sucked @ss, but manageable, you know? First, I have those stupid flu/allergy thing that comes and goes as the clock ticks by. It’s really annoying, my eyes get really itchy and I can’t stop sneezing my head off while sniffing so loud that my nose is starting to hurt. It’s really moments that aggravates my body. I’ve drunk coffee (aahh, sweet coffee) and taken a Panadol (which gave me surges of comfort, both bad ways and comforting ways) and listening to music, which all gave me temporary relief. I don’t know, lately, I’ve been thinking of doing “stuff” that I don’t think I’m supposed to do. The most thoughts that I’ve been thinking will never occur to me in a while, I guess, I’m almost sure that it’s just hormones happening to me.
Other things are the following;
Trying smoking again. I’ve taken a couple of tries, but I was so scared for some reason, that I just put the smoke in my mouth, and exhale it, without tasting it whatsoever. Myabe I’m just curious or whatever, but the curiousness is beginning to become so big that I end up pretending to smoke something, you know what I mean? I blame myself. I blame my best friend. I blame the media. I blame everyone who smokes.
Drinking once again. I don’t look forward on being hooked, but just having fun once again. I want to get tipsy again. Not fully drunk whatsoever, but I’m curious once again.
What else, yeah? Oh yeah, the other thing that sort of ruined this day. I was watching 24 and then all of a sudden, the *bleeping* DVD doesn’t work! I have no idea why, but arggghh! It’s so aggravating! I’m so sick of having all my DVDs not work both my ancient DVD player and my PS2 as well, that I’ve decided to ask my dad if we can trade it for another better DVD player and most of all, start taking care of my DVDs. I will refuse to just leave them around. I’m writing this (even though it makes me sound like a psycho or whatever) is just to refuse myself to procrastinate whatsoever.
I’m going to stop procrastination. Against myself, that is. I’m going to stop dreaming about these things that’s been drifting in my head for quite some time now. Things that in reality, may not happen. I’m going start focusing on the things that I want to succeed by myself. Things, big things and little things that will satisfy myself. Make me a better person. But I don’t want to be self-indulged, you know? Have time to make more friends and be a better friend to them as well. I’m going to start making a myself a list. I’ll let you know my journey of ‘being a better me’. Gosh, this makes me feel such a dork. Well, if I feel happy about it, then who cares? I’ll use the time I have from this one week break which is so much needed for me – both personally and academically. I don’t know if academic is the right word, but oh well…
It’ll give me time to reflect on my own actions, take the consequences, take new measures, reconnect with people around me, have some time by myself, just to refresh my mind and all that. I just want to be a more positive person – and not compare myself to the ones around me, because I know that will affect it in major ways. That’s one of the things that I hate about my behaviour – comparing my own things with other people. That’s one of the downright ways of decreasing my self-esteem and confidence as well. Another thing is that I hope I won’t be too self-confident as well. I got to accept the things that come into way, both good things and bad as well. I also want to take time for my faith in God. More seriously, this time.
Much love.
I’m in love with the 80s. Don’t You Forget About Me *** awesome classic from this unique era!!*** I heart breakfast club.
Other things are the following;
Trying smoking again. I’ve taken a couple of tries, but I was so scared for some reason, that I just put the smoke in my mouth, and exhale it, without tasting it whatsoever. Myabe I’m just curious or whatever, but the curiousness is beginning to become so big that I end up pretending to smoke something, you know what I mean? I blame myself. I blame my best friend. I blame the media. I blame everyone who smokes.
Drinking once again. I don’t look forward on being hooked, but just having fun once again. I want to get tipsy again. Not fully drunk whatsoever, but I’m curious once again.
What else, yeah? Oh yeah, the other thing that sort of ruined this day. I was watching 24 and then all of a sudden, the *bleeping* DVD doesn’t work! I have no idea why, but arggghh! It’s so aggravating! I’m so sick of having all my DVDs not work both my ancient DVD player and my PS2 as well, that I’ve decided to ask my dad if we can trade it for another better DVD player and most of all, start taking care of my DVDs. I will refuse to just leave them around. I’m writing this (even though it makes me sound like a psycho or whatever) is just to refuse myself to procrastinate whatsoever.
I’m going to stop procrastination. Against myself, that is. I’m going to stop dreaming about these things that’s been drifting in my head for quite some time now. Things that in reality, may not happen. I’m going start focusing on the things that I want to succeed by myself. Things, big things and little things that will satisfy myself. Make me a better person. But I don’t want to be self-indulged, you know? Have time to make more friends and be a better friend to them as well. I’m going to start making a myself a list. I’ll let you know my journey of ‘being a better me’. Gosh, this makes me feel such a dork. Well, if I feel happy about it, then who cares? I’ll use the time I have from this one week break which is so much needed for me – both personally and academically. I don’t know if academic is the right word, but oh well…
It’ll give me time to reflect on my own actions, take the consequences, take new measures, reconnect with people around me, have some time by myself, just to refresh my mind and all that. I just want to be a more positive person – and not compare myself to the ones around me, because I know that will affect it in major ways. That’s one of the things that I hate about my behaviour – comparing my own things with other people. That’s one of the downright ways of decreasing my self-esteem and confidence as well. Another thing is that I hope I won’t be too self-confident as well. I got to accept the things that come into way, both good things and bad as well. I also want to take time for my faith in God. More seriously, this time.
Much love.
I’m in love with the 80s. Don’t You Forget About Me *** awesome classic from this unique era!!*** I heart breakfast club.
posted by Jellybean at 1:54 AM
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