All Heads Down...

My last night here in Indo, for the next couple of weeks.
I hate absentmindedness in times of desperation. It just flat out irritates me.
I’ll get over it eventually, along with the dozens of other pet peeves that are resting on my sleeve. It’ll be better to ignore it, and think for better things, I guess.
Some people just can be so self-idolized when around crowds of ‘comfortness’. Seriously, just because she found herself in a new situation doesn’t mean she’s got to talk about it for the next half an hour straight. Arggh, I’m thinking of names that wouldn’t be too harsh but I can’t think of any. It’s pretty hard. I don’t know why, but she likes to talk about herself more and more. That’s why all that’s what happened in the past had happened. If we give her too much attention, she’ll be all like queen bee-ish. If we give her too little attention, she’ll cut herself. I’m not joking either ways. So I guess we better balance it, leave it in that. I myself don’t have a major problem in front of her, but let’s just say I got to work on saying stuff behind her back. Seriously, I really don’t want it to get back to me. I better keep it to myself, you know?
Sometimes I keep telling myself that I keep screwing it up. I want to be the kind of person that isn’t afraid to make her own mistakes, but she won’t screw it up again the second time. Once was enough. I hope it’s not too late – I hate when karma comes knocking on your door.
I’m beginning to start being flexible on exercise. The main worries are two things, first it’s holiday and there’s no gym available that I know of nearby. Maybe I can play basketball (nah, it’ll feel weird for some reason, like, it’s complicated to explain) or run or whatever. I’ll think of something to still be fit I guess during the holidays. Second, is my diet. I haven’t been eating chocolate anymore. The main fluids that are running through my system is H20, green tea chilled, orange jelly drink, and milk. Foods are a little bit more complicated, but I hope I can manage it soon. I want to eat moderately, you know, so my stomach doesn’t have a mind of its own. Arggh, I hope I can manage during the holidays. I’ll keep a sharp mental note on that.
I just hate looking at perfectly shaped bodies in the magazines, shows, and even in real life, secretly hoping that the way they did it wasn’t sticking their fingers down their throats. That’s one of my pet peeves. Or starving themselves to death. I rather prefer a body which is more muscular and well-maintained than a bony figure. Blehh..
I can’t wait to see my mother. I have something that’s currently in my mind these past few days, and I think my dad might have the similar thought as well. Hmm, let’s just say that the apartment hasn’t been exactly CLEAN. There are few stuff scattered everywhere, and I’m almost certain that there’s various places where it isn’t visible to the eye that hasn’t been dusted in a LONG time. I hope my mom doesn’t stress too much about it when she comes home. I hope she doesn’t sleep at 3 just ironing the clothes or something. Because I think getting stressed easily runs in the family. I’m not joking. When I found out that one of her sisters had recently got surgery, removing a cyst from her ovary.
I bet you know how I feel about that.
Yeah, I just really hope she doesn’t stress too much about it. And I hope that getting extra help from someone else can at least do a good part on it. And I hope I can help as much as I can. Like not trash up my room and get the trash up or putting the plates back when I finish.
I hope I can remember that.
I hope I won’t spend money this time on friggin useless things in this vacation. I want to spend it wisely.
I hope I either I won’t get bored to death on the airplane trip (I won’t be able to watch anything, we’re taking a budget plane. Ohhh, good ol’ memories of watching Little Manhattan. That really made my plane trip really enjoyable. Just remembering having tears on my eyes while watching that awesome flick. It’s certainly one of the sweetest films I ever seen. I watched it again, but it won’t capture the feeling that I’ve felt when I watched it the first time.
Speaking of capturing the feelings, I (don’t) want him. Arggh, he seems so far away that the grasp of any real feelings and his ‘real personal’ side of him is just so out of reach. I think I’m letting go for awhile. I don’t know though. I’ve said this a lot of times.
Tommorow is going to be a busy day. The flight! Last moment of things left to do. Like watch the O.C! PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, and what else? Get my IPOD and HP ready..like, just prepare. Arggh.. I’m pretty glad that I’m not going to school tomorrow because it’s deadset boring. Today we didn’t have the TV for a majority of the time and you can tell what our day was like, without the only source of entertainment. Blehh.
I sort of regret not going to this party. Everyone who had went was talking about it, and I knew a couple of people there that the others didn’t and it sucked that I didn’t ‘socialize’ with them or something. Arggh, I hate that. It seemed really damn fun. Oh well. There will be other times x)
You only hold me up like this.
I hope this vacation will be damn fun.
Because you say it don’t mean you mean it……….
With a few exceptions
The O.C…it’s highly addictive sometimes. But I would never feel the same way when I first started watching it. I think the fuss had died down. I love the style of Summer and Marissa, I think I have gotten that vibe.
Turn off the lights, turn off the shyness. Cause all of the moves make up for the silence.
Currently listening to the cover of Of All the Gin Joints from Lauren Hoffman. Her voice is really heavenly, I can see why ‘him’ can really dig it. Lucky.
Fcker, all I can say is, ASHLEE SIMPSON???????
What...the...fck????????????????
I always like firsts. It’s more special.
The last can be cherished as well. But when will that be? The anticipation follows… My heart goes out to the Yogya victims. Now if my self-inner conscious attitude will get out of the way. I feel happy donating a few of my clothes to them