Blinded..

People asked me if I was okay.
I said with a fake smile within, “Yeap”.
If only they knew how I felt. But then I question, are their hearts too selfish to really pay attention. Am I who I am, depending on how they feel about me? I really wonder how they see me. Am I just another face passing through the door. Am I the one where they ask their questions to, or the person that’s too quiet? I want to communicate with them, but something just holds me back. I don’t think I could make it, and I never will. I’ll just crawl back into my image, and really become a part of it. There’s nothing that I can do about it now.
The creative part of myself has stripped away. Words that used to be so easy to create then became difficult. It’s just not there anymore.
I remember holding back my tears and locking myself in the bathroom. I remember the tears coming out. It wasn’t clear, it wasn’t easy as it was. A part of me wanted to cry, the other part just wanted to be strong.
Spin me around and rub my eyes
This can’t be happening.
Then I waited till the scar on my face was gone. Waited till every single trace of evidence went away. Then, I looked at myself in the mirror for the last time, and put on that face. A face, as I walked out the door, became just another one passing through the hallway.
You don’t care a bit..
You don’t care a bit..

Thank goodness it’s FRIDAY. I’m not sure if I’m going to a school event tomorrow. I’m not sure, I’m not sure. I don’t know how to get home. Seriously.
I just want to stay at home and not care about the world anymore.
Constants. Aren’t so constant anymore.
Self-identity crisis. There’s no cure whatsoever.
Hope for better futures.
Sincerely,
Theworldwon’tlisten – The Smiths