You'll Be Safe Here..

Aah. Today was a day I want to forget. I felt lazy, stupid, and tired all day. I didn’t want to do anything except to sleep and think with my bad thoughts. Plus, I have trouble with my bowel movements (I’m not getting to detail in this area) and it’s making me all depressed.

AAH. I HATE THIS DAY. AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT, I FEEL SO….BLAH.

I don’t to have any days like this nevermore. It’s too depressing, the taste afterwards. Aah, it’s like having a day of hangover.

** Hmm, I spent my money in useless things. Like candy and icecream. Now my stomach is paying the price.

I’ve been in a bad mood all day long. I don’t want to bore you with the details.

Aah. It’s the start of the holidays. I’m planning not only to manage and watch my weight, but my appearance as well. I have yet plucked up the courage to ask my parents for the ultimate Christmas present: A digital camera. Oh, and also DSL connection.

There are is one in particular that is starting to give me the nerves. I’m trying not to, but it’s like, it’s overwhelming. And it’s the exact same guy that I thought I had feelings for before. Aah, his presence is starting to get really annoying. I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but I feel if I don’t get this out in the open it’s gonna start to get to me. Anyways, he calls me nearly all the time and when we actually speak he’s always asking the same questions as before. It’s annoying, I swear. And what else?!? OK, I know this shouldn’t get to me at all, maybe he just wants to make friends, but there’s this other guy outside school that I’m pretty close with as friends, and I think he wants to know that guy. It’s like every person outside school that I’m close to he wants to add in his myspace. I mean, why? Call me sensitive. Aah. I don’t want to think about it anymore.

Over these holidays, I’m looking forward to read my past blog entries and really discover how I matured over this past year. It’s been weird, it’s been pretty quick that 2006 is almost over. I’ll be spending New Year’s here I guess, but I’m not sure whether here or in KL, but I’m secretly pushing for KL.

I hope these holidays are fun. I’m trying not to think about money. Ahh, I think it’s going to be different this year because of the financial problems. I know, I’m trying to understand that. I’m trying to accept it as it is, and hope for better futures.

To be continued.

Today is the day, where my mom and sis will come back from the Philippines. I’m pretty excited, I just have to make sure that I got to clean my stuff first.

Aahh, it’s great relaxing at home. I just have to put my discipline up to regularly exercise or else I’ll end up with two tummies.

Hmm, it’s amazing how lovestruck people can be. I’ve never been in a relationship, and as much as I see some of my friends who are currently in relationships can be. I look at their myspace profiles (shut up. Yes, I admit. I use myspace) and see how it’s like…’I love you sooo much *their supposed loved one’s name* over and over again. It’s sort of ridiculous. But I’m not saying anything out loud. If that’s how it is, then so be it.

I just finished watching Little Miss Sunshine. The last movie I watched before that was Borat. It was one of the weirdest movies I ever seen, I swear. It’s sort of offensive but funny at some moments. Ew, there was one scene where Borat and his manager or something, they fight naked. It’s soo weird.

The movie industry is weird nowadays. I used to be crazy over movies but now, the fact that they do it just for the moolah, it changed the whole perspective. I don’t really enjoy the movies nowadays, I prefer those indie classics. Little Miss Sunshine is awesome. I love that movie. It has the perfect charm and quirks.

Trying to enjoy the holidays. So far, yeah, I told you my mom and sis are coming back from the Philippines. My sister is going to stay here for like, 2 weeks. And then, hmm, we might go to KL for a few days. I’m secretly hoping that we’re not so financially uptight we could allow a few dollars for shopping. I seriously hope so. Hmm, I’ll just hope for the best.

What else? Oh yeah, my stomach is still aching for no reason. Well maybe my eating habits are taking a turn for the worse. I don’t know. I just hope it goes back to normal soon.

Hmm, I’m craving for a real vacation. Not the ones like going to KL again, I must say, I’m starting to get really bored of it. I want to go somewhere like America or Australia or Europe or something. I miss going to vacations like that again. Oh well, the next vacation my parents are trying to have (like I said, if the financial situation improves, you know?) a vacation when my sister graduates from college. If the luck comes in sooner, I’m secretly hoping for a vacation when I graduate from high school. Hmm, where would we go?! My dream place is probably Chicago, but since I don’t see that happening unless someone else pays for us or something, maybe I’ll settle in Hong Kong, Thailand, or whatnot. I don’t know. Did I ever tell you my family has relatives in America? Ooh, maybe we won’t have to spend the night in cheap hotels or something.

Label me as selfish, but sometimes, I crave for a little luxury. Even though what I have right now is considered luxury to other people. I’m trying to enjoy it.

I love this.

I’m secretly hoping for a digital camera.

Did I tell you that?

I’m planning to give my sister a:

* A shirt I bought in a fair long time ago. Ooh, tomorrow I’m bound to experience my first time going to a secondhand clothing flea market. I’m going to dress in a simple way *there’s a lot of pickpockets*, maybe in baggy jeans and a simple shirt with sandals or something. No jewelry or handphones whatsoever. I don’t want to risk anything. Maybe I'll pick something up for her x)

Verdict: Shirt and a bellybutton piercing *hopefully she still has it by now*

* My mom..haha already bought her one! A bottle of Victoria Secret body lotion. It smells absolute divine!

*My dad..I'm looking to get him a voucher in a good salon/spa, for a great massage. It's a great gift, cause he needs it from all the workload and whatnot.

* My bestie. Ahh, I have no idea whatsoever. Hmmmmm....maybe I'll find something good in KL..maybe a charmbracelet or necklace or something. Ahh. I don't know.

Wish me hope that I could scrape enough money for the presents. I have some money leftover but due to my unconscious self which lets me spend on money in wasteless stuff.

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